people getting upset when you touch or fawn over their new tattoo or piercing
REGRET INDEX:
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a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
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Da go lapash na magare?
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Harvey has a controversial reputation but I love the guy
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fuck Sting because once would be enough, marry Bryan Adams because he doesn't know what he's doing but he'd do anything for you and a patsy is always useful, kill Rod Stewart just in case that creepy old sex pest thing wasn't an act
fuck marry kill, Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart, Sting
Billy Corgan Says He Saw A Person Transform Into A Non Human
filling your bong reservoir with the urine of a togepi
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Oral Sex Plus Smoking a Fire Hazard for Women
Oral Sex Plus Smoking a Cancer Danger for Men
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insurers are allowed to claim subsidies, but through a different, more lucrative channel
part LXXXIV in a CXLVI series
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(1) secretly marrying someone who wakes up every night from nightmares
(1) betting your right nut on a pair of jacks
(1) being in the unfortunate habit of falling for a pretty smile
(5) that being bound, gagged, hooded and beaten in a freezing cold barn in the middle of nowhere, hosed down, sworn at, beaten, ridiculed, beaten again, beaten some more and then electrocuted gratuitously makes you uncomfortable
(1) the Island of the Virgin Presidents
(2) back in the nineties when getting caught with your dick in a hooker's mouth was a big deal but not a career killer
(1) let who who has never sexually harassed and raped record breaking numbers of women over a span of four decades cast the first stone, amirite
(1) seriously, we should unionize
(2) getting a serious looking face tattooed on one boob and a man's body in miniature beneath with a speech bubble on the other boob and the words "I'm a breast man myself" simply to commit to a very involved joke
(4) wondering which barely scientific scifi world would be best to live in
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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
your dyslexia flaring up (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
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