not making the city more welcoming to your friend who recently moved here and isn't liking it much, because you are too busy trying to figure out how to make a living, and being pretty miserable yourself
REGRET INDEX:
0.91

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 18 lifetimes of regret
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filling mole's asses with molasses
liquid hot smegma
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secretly Eiffel Towering someone who wakes up every night from being Eiffel Towered
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(1) secretly marrying someone who wakes up every night from nightmares
(1) betting your right nut on a pair of jacks
(1) being in the unfortunate habit of falling for a pretty smile
(5) that being bound, gagged, hooded and beaten in a freezing cold barn in the middle of nowhere, hosed down, sworn at, beaten, ridiculed, beaten again, beaten some more and then electrocuted gratuitously makes you uncomfortable
(1) the Island of the Virgin Presidents
(2) back in the nineties when getting caught with your dick in a hooker's mouth was a big deal but not a career killer
(1) let who who has never sexually harassed and raped record breaking numbers of women over a span of four decades cast the first stone, amirite
(1) seriously, we should unionize
(2) getting a serious looking face tattooed on one boob and a man's body in miniature beneath with a speech bubble on the other boob and the words "I'm a breast man myself" simply to commit to a very involved joke
(4) wondering which barely scientific scifi world would be best to live in
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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
your dyslexia flaring up (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
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your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
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