not waxing your eyebrows in high school
REGRET INDEX:
0.17

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 173 lifetimes of regret
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trying pot that one time, and one time only?
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recent regrets

how easy it is to find nude selfies of underage girls on twitter
krill five meals a day
though shalt always krill
thou shalt always thrill
thou shalt always kiss
thou shalt always kill
drawing a picture of Kento being el tip vexed by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being expletived by Chris Lydon and a walrus
disinterring Oscar Wilde's corspe and fucking the eyholes of his skull on a reality show in order to violate him like he violated young boys, it's called Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
as for this job, well, not that I have a choice, but, expletive it, I quit, meow
Two Gays In Kento Pizza
Two Guys From Quantico Pizza
decimalizing one pie for no real reason
all my tubes and wires and careful notes
decimating ten pies for no real reason
making all those pies for no real reason
thinking of your sigmoid colon as a perfunctory nod to a neighbor you don't really get along with when you take your garbage out to the curb in the morning
thinking of your anus muscles as a puckering kill
being as American as mom and apple pie and kissing my ass
that the correct response to "apple pie" is not "kiss my ass"
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2443/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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