not buying a bubble hockey table

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 151 lifetimes of regret
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bottoming for two talle, ridiculously muscley American kids in I Film Doves VII?
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recent regrets

selling home bottled "spring" water in Hellmann's jars as a child in Montreal
women in bikinis bring in donors by standing on a roadside with colorful cardboard signs or posters
Irishing up your breakfast
having a breakfast of potato croquettes, potato salad, and pommes frites and suspecting you eat too much potato
Charney claimed to have slept with employees, and reportedly masturbated numerous times and had oral sex performed on him by an employee during a series of interviews with a writer for the magazine Jane
Kento's dick
Kento's ass
Ballet With Buffalo Wings
wondering how hard it would be to get Jewel to cover Closer
wondering how hard it would be to get Jewel to cover Bullet With Butterfly Wings
you could have a steam train, if you'd just lay down your tracks
wondering how hard it would be to get Jewel to cover Boom Bang a Bang
I would want to SMASH Jewel if I were not in a relationship
DONKEY pumpkins
GOAT pumpkins
GREAT pumpkins
SMASHING pumpkins
SMASHING recognizers
super recognizers
Tiny Tiger Nation
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recent comments

(2) firing a gullet pun indiscriminately at seagulls
(3) masturbating during Schindler's List
(1) compagnie 'elle'
(3) why'd YOU move to France
(1) why'd you move to France
(2) being Super Ted
(1) figuring Ryan will drop by and nuke the comment database again at some point
(171) being a minimalist
(30) your boobs buying food on ebay
(34) not having met ryan north
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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
Facing the dodo's conundrum, I felt like I could just fly, but nothing happened every time I tried (1.0000)
insecurity (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
having beautiful breasts (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12560/0.9789)
Kento (2759/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

being a minimalist (171)
turtles (110)
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not in a relationship (35)
not having met ryan north (34)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (30)
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