the paradox of thrift

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 159 lifetimes of regret
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Do you regret
wondering if you are racist for wondering if there are any Native Americans called Flashing Modem yet?
yes    no    haven't done it yet

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recent regrets

slating christians with Christian Slater
Slater was unable to travel to the July MMXVII court hearing in the United States for lack of funds and said he was considering alternative careers as a dog walker or tennis coach
that was around the time they were sued by a monkey
it wasn't even that they didn't believe she was who she said she was, it was that they wanted absolute assurance that she owned the copyright in the image and was assigning its use on wikipedia and wikimedia correctly
that once your brother's friend, who was a parliamentary candidate several elections ago and lost horribly and deserved to, tried to upload an image of herself to her wikipedia biography and it took eighteen months of form filling before they accepted it
A man goofing off at work, playing with a fidget spinner and a ball
I'm like a bee, I'll only FUCK! away
Nellbee FUCK!tado
lending your bees to a promiscuous beekeeper
pubic bees
this kills the crab
smashing Miley's crabs
crabs in a bucket
she's got a bucket of lice
she's got a heart of gold
definitely not fucking whichever Hemsworth was sticking it in Miley Cyrus, because that guy's dick has got to be crawling with so many STDs it's banned by the Geneva Convention
to answer your question, beeeeees
that's not my answer, I just don't like the guy
fucking Chris Hemsworth
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recent comments

(1) being a misunderstood relatively intelligent person
(3) it is probably the most shameful thing in my life
(1) popcorn, peanuts, looking at big butts
(1) the way that Chris Lydon always says "that'll do, pig, that'll do" to you after you have sex
(3) adopting a special needs child
(2) not hooking up with the mohel when you had the chance
(2) wanting to make Kento spontaneously combust for his birthday
(1) just now realizing that Madonna's "Like a Prayer" is about a blow job
(3) that the rachel is back, and she's reading all the regrets
(1) An American says she fell asleep with a headache and woke up with a British accent, cheerio
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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
your dyslexia flaring up (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
keeping Harry Mason alive through a whole game, only to have him go and get killed off in another game without you being able to do anything about it (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12566/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
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