a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
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Doop is a bisexual creature?
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recent regrets

he could start shitting his pants all the time and walking around with shitty pants
the story of how scared she was during her first kiss, which is so corny and boring that it causes the music to come on
DJ says goodbye to all her guests as her party wraps up and manages to clear the air with Kimmie Gibbler before she leaves to go get finger banged in a public park by Jake Bitterman
Finally, there's a boy band for older, hairy gay men
that is, hairy gay men
Bearforce One
boys have a penis, girls have a vagina, except in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake where you never know what you're gonna get
fisting Go Ikeda so far that you turn into a ventriloquist act
TRIPLE fisting Go Ikeda
double fisting Go Ikeda
shopping around for penis
shopping for penis
chopping a penis
boys have a penis, get to the chopper
thanks for the tip
boys have a penis, girls have a vagina
A spokesperson for the Daily Mail said the UK's newest princess was 'beach body ready' as she 'flaunted her curves' in a blanket
A spokesperson for the British royals, reflecting on the utter meaninglessness of the inane information he was tasked to deliver to the press, ended his life today with a single bullet to the temple
A spokesperson for the British royals said the UK's newest princess would meet her aunt Pippa Middleton and her grandmother Carol Middleton on Sunday
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
cornholing Willie Mays (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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