eatting undercooked eggs

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thanking the nineties for spawning The Matrix, meaning you can now dismiss almost anything that is prefixed 'neo' as outrageously camp nonsense that nevertheless presents itself super seriously?
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recent regrets

pumpkin pie
backdoor slats
wondering if there is accountability in ant societies, like when an ant comes back to the nest with something weird do the other ants have some method of dealing with that and can the colony actually learn not to bring stupid things back
haughty nurses
accidentally leaving your worn panties under your bed for nearly a week and noticing capers in the crotch when you find them
finding capers in your crotch
Backdoor Sluts IX makes Crotch Capers III look like Naughy Nurses II
bench pressing a French press for the French press
grinding coffee for XP
Backdoor Sluts IX
the great Wizard, the skillful Ranger, and the covetous Jew
Der Zeitung does not out run images of women that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Der Zeitung does not run images of women that could be considered 'dilated'
Die Zeitung does not run images of swans that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Die Zeitung does not run images of men that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Der Zeitung does not run images of women that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Special needs girl raped after being used as 'bait' to catch sex offending teen colon lawsuit
wondering if anybody doesn't know that Kim Kardashian has starred in a porn video
wondering if the hacker who worked so hard to steal Kim Kardashian's nude pics knows that she has starred in a porn video
having an abortion after a fling with the pool boy, cheerio
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2443/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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