taking the hugest dump
REGRET INDEX:
0.87

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 1324 lifetimes of regret
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David: WHAT IS THERE TO REGRET ABOUT EMPTYING YOUR BOWELS I DON'T UNDERSTAND
John Smokes: I guess you never know when you might have needed it.
Justin: But pooping is so much fun, it is clearly superior to peeing and should be #1, not #2.
Laura: I have never regretted taking a dump, huge or otherwise.
Brutus: I took one once that hurt so bad I really regretted it.
cdude: ...isn't this really regretting what you ate to cause the dump? Clearly there is never a reason to regret a dump...
Lizardface: I have regretted holding in a huge dump, so when it comes out it is inappropriate, but if the timing were ok it would have been EPIC
Murr: My hugest dump was a welcome reminder of a wonderful wedding feast two days earlier. No regrets!
Chase: I agree with David. There is nothing to regret.
Michael: But what about that one time you decide to try to push just a huge dump to the level of hugest? And then your insides feel like someone hooked up jumper cables to your large intestine, forgot, and drove away in the car you were attatched to?
poosh: Dude. That's...that's just you?
cleverj8: It's already the hugest dump ever! HOW IS THIS NOT EPIC??
-: ...Perhaps the smell?
Bert: The pain is so satisfying.
Anonymous: hothothothothot!
Anon: You know... You've spent all afternoon, binging on Doritos and RC Cola, and in a matter of hours... You gotta take that dump. It feels ok... But then it burns, burns sooo bad that it feels like having a dydrochloric acid. This is regret.
Heywood Jablomie: My anus feels regret every two days.
Greg: I once clogged my brother-in-law's toilet and had to ask for a plunger in front of my wife's whole family only to find he didn't have one and I had to go to the store to get one. You don't live that down.
michael: I fail to understand what there is to regret about an enormous dump, except perhaps the fact that it's over
Phrank: The only possible way I would regret taking the hugest dump is if I won a hugest dump contest, and the other contestant was a big scary guy named Bruno who doesn't like losing. That would be regret.
matt: How in the hell is this at 0.88? I'd regret not taking the hugest dump.
!: Not as much as I'd regret having the hugest dump and not taking it.
Goodzilla: Maybe stealing someone's dump? That'd be pretty ruinous.
agent57: I sure do regret agreeing to watch after grandpappy's record-breaking landfill after he died.
qkmaaupb: qkmaaupb
Bono: If the hugest dump is 'solid', I will never regret. But if there has been curry the night before, much regrets and burning ensues.
fluffy: I think that "huge dump" implies solid. Liquid would be more like "gigantic case of the squirts." I would regret that. But as long as I've had enough fiber that the huge (solid) dump doesn't tear my colon and anus to shreds, I REGRET NOTHING.
http://www.sabotagetimes.com/life/the-scariest-true-story-youll-read-this-halloween/:
matt: I still don't regret this.

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