not being able to figure out if you are depressed

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 26 lifetimes of regret
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that chris lydon is so nice to you?
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recent regrets

DJ then refuses because Michelle is a raging asshole who can't even feign tact out of desperation
I'll be the judge of that
they're real and they're spectacular
gay up jugs!
finding out that, well, you need keys to the artesian well on Sark from Anita Sarkeesian
now remember, your name is Homer Thompson
straight up jugs!
spooning Gia's gugs
spooning Jewel's jugs
stealing that girl's abraj from the kudai laundry room
Abraj Kudai
wearing heels is, excuse the pun, a right drag
Danny tells Gia that he really enjoys putting his penis inside of her moms vagina and then he makes a bunch of lame jokes about cologne or something
Also, and I fully recognize that I'm a bad person who should go to jail for pointing this out, but, good lord, Gia's got some straight up jugs!
Danny comes in and mentions how hot it is outside, then he starts beating off under the table while he describes the sweaty construction workers that he just saw working with their shirts off outside
Danny's presence successfully desiccates Marcia Wallace's vagina, as it's done for so many women so many times before, and so she's finally able to control herself enough to hold an actual meeting with Joey
Mary Kate, Ashley Olsen won't be on 'Rueful Holes' semicolon Uncle Jesse 'kroner bathe'
Mary Kate, Ashley Olsen won't be on 'Fuller House' semicolon Uncle Jesse 'heartbroken'
Uncle Leo
The sailors of the Royal Canadian Navy use the term kippers as a slang for members of the Royal Navy
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
stealing that girl's bra from the communal laundry room (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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