that Ayn Rand was such a fridged bitch

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 29 lifetimes of regret
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recent regrets

"Piaf" is, until today, a Parisian argot word for "bird, sparrow"
drawing a picture of Kento being threaded through by Chris Lydon's bisected, fried, Cumberland sausagelike penis
halving a dick like a Cumberland sausage
having a dick like a Cumberland sausage
"Well", says the tiny man, "Make that two cups of coffee very hot and sweet"
"Well, neither am I"
"That's right"
so, on the fourth day when the tiny man said, "I want a cup of very hot, sweet coffee" the tough guy goes to him and says "So you're afraid of no one"
the cafe owner said nothing, he was afraid of a scandal, but when the tiny man repeated the trick a few times the cafe owner said "I've had it, I'll get a tough guy to beat up this tiny man if he comes back"
he drank his coffee and didn't pay
he left
he drank his coffee
One day a tiny man entered a North Zone cafe and said "I want a cup of very hot, sweet coffee" adding "I shan't pay, because I fear no one"
that guy's cock was so bent you could throw it and it would come back to you, Kento had no choice but to do what he did
the rules clearly state that hands "may be used to stabilise the penis in the event of anatomical failure and slash or deformity of the recipient, but any use of hands to provide direct sexual gratification is grounds for immediate disqualification"
Tarzan versus IBM
Eiffeleux en Paname
that French judge had it in for him because he didn't like an American being the Eiffel Towering World Champion
that although Kento Ikeda took home the gold in the Teabagging competition at the London Oral Sex Olympics, he is best remembered for his otherwise flawless performance in the Lick Job event that was controversially thrown out due to illegal use of hands
defying your government to compete in the Oral'nyy seks Spartakiada
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2443/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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