burning the tomato sauce that you canned and have been eating all year

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 79 lifetimes of regret
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that you tend to give money to buskers or not depending on their talent?
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recent regrets

Shrek XXII Lawrence After Arabia
Shrek XXI Oh Hell No!
Kelly the Badger
leaving the gym because Kelly LeBrock kept bellowing shit at you
leaving the gym because Brock kept bellowing shit at you
leaving the gym because Jim Belushi kept bellowing shit at you
Smashing for Ray
not really remembering Sugar Ray, which is weird considering that you referenced Bowling for Soup just yesterday even though you can't recall anything else about them but their stupid name
wondering why Smash Mouth is the target of so much spite when Sugar Ray was just as shitty and of the same era
Da Darlin' Buds of May, da bears
it has Catherine Zeta Jones in it look you now
still not having watched Chicago, da bears, even though you've been meaning to for a few years now, da bears
Has Donald Trump swallowed the old Mike Huckabee whole
you're just repressed, cheerio
this site is kind of weird
once you've tasted the rich, earthy goodness of this month's Brown Star Gourmet Anus, you won't want to put anything else in your mouth ever again
drawing a picture of Warren Ellis and Warren Ellis braiding their beards and penises together
joining the Anus of the Month Club
liking your anuses like you like your coffee, mailed to you a kilo at a time
liking your anuses like you like your coffee, well bleached
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
listening to Chinese Japanese English hip hop (1.0000)
not being able to use a star to abbreviate Homestar Runner with the Regret Index syntax (1.0000)
Scientology (1.0000)
butte snows (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
stealing that girl's bra from the communal laundry room (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12560/0.9789)
Kento (2758/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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