horribly overreacting to your crush finding a personfriend
REGRET INDEX:
0.73

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 304 lifetimes of regret
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that is there was an award for Best Furious Masturbator it would certainly go to Bono, since his entire existence is basically just masturbation?
yes    no    haven't done it yet

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recent regrets

at six feet tall, Kristen Johnston must be one of the slimmest people in fatworld
his favorite dream is of a world far away, a world where magic is as common as air, where animals tell jokes, and where trees beg people to pick their fruit
farworld
according to the farworld wiki, Kristen Johnston alone weighs four hundred and twenty pounds
this record collecting is driving me nuts, it's taking all of my time and money
wondering what your chances of getting it on with a lesbian are when you firstly can't even spell her name right and secondly have a penis
wondering what the combined weight of Kristen Johnston, Elly Jackson, Zoey Prosheck, Rachel Stevens and Steve Harwell is, and what the best way to go about talking them into an orgy together would be
being absurdly attracted to Elly Jackson
not finding either of French Stewart's wives particularly hot, but being willing to admit they have a certain charm
repeatedly answering "no" to the lyrics of "Some Like it Hot" while crying bitter, bitter tears alone again on another rainy Sunday afternoon, a bloo bloo
that French Stewart's wife is super hot
that Kristen Johnston was hot, when in fact she looked, sounded, and most likely smelled, like a longshoreman or possibly a male Australian rules footballer
whispering "no homo" to yourself over and over like a charm
this is as gay as the regret index has ever been
drawing a picture of naked Taylor Hanson and Joseph Gordon Levitt tucking their penises between their legs while tugging on each other's pony tails, in the showers at Penn State
tugging on Taylor Hanson's pony tail while the regret gets gayer and gayer with each new syllable
Hanson gets kidnapped by a group of italian jew mobsters along with N'Sync & the best comedians in the world
having Taylor Hanson Fever
young Joseph Gordon Levitt had a Taylor Hanson kind of vibe, I would hit that
that you probably would hit on Kristen Johnston, especially if the field was Third Rock principal cast members
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

all I see is an Eiffel Tower of reams, real cum burstin' out of every seam (1.0000)
Kento (0.9993)
gangnam style (0.9982)
Fifty Shades of Grey (0.9906)
Sonny John Moore (0.9847)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
stealing that girl's bra from the communal laundry room (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12560/0.9789)
Kento (2758/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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