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recent regrets

Kevins James inexplicably Heartland Poker Tour wife
pitching a movie where Kevin James inexplicably hpt wife is literally a character named Nora Lee and every time he introduces her to someone he's forced to sau "this is my wife, Nora Lee" and nobody quite believes him
Saltmen
Kovon Jomos, Sith Lord
divas can at least sing
Kevin James is such a diva
I can honestly say I'll take one for the team here and just let world go without one more Kevin James movie
so either you stitch me up in Padme's entrails or the deal is fucking off
I don't need your shit, I'm set to rake in fifty mil from The Zookeeper Two Colon Zookeep Harder
listen Kevin, you need to keep working, you're only going to grow less endearing as you age
I refuse
I was thinking we would just use some kind of prosthetic, or maybe make him wear one of those pingpong ball suits
you would first have to figure out how to encase Kevin James in Natalie Portman's bowels with just his lips protruding at the anus
that would make ten billion dollars
Transformers VI Colon Natalie Portman's Talking Rectum! starring KEVIN JAMES as the rectum and Kate Upton as his wife no really
hey, I wasn't judging, all you have to do is look to the mid two thousands "Morbidly Obese Stupid Man With Hot Wife" era of American primetime comedies
listen buddy, the way your president and his Russian pals have been carrying on at my expense lately I'm this close to getting the marines and torching Washington again, don't be making it worse ragging on panto
they love talking assholes in China, it's like ugly old men in drag for the British
you should have pitched it as a Transformers sequel
you know I pitched that and they said it'd never get made it'd never find an audience she'd never agree to it and I said you know Being John Malkovich got made it'll work and they said no, and now this
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recent comments

(1) divas can at least sing
(1) not choosing the wagon life
(1) not choosing the vegan life
(1) Mr Freeze
(1) laughing as you hew a rough wooden dildo for Mary Chapin Carpenter
(1) fuck marry kill, Princess Madeleine, Tinky Winky, Steve Harwell
(10) having sex with Oasis
(3) wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
(1) wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated
(1) having a cardboard booty
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search regrets

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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
banging a Tim Burton heroine (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
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