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one can just fit in your hand, and the other can just fit his hand in you?
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recent regrets

one unusual fact about Michael Ball, he has a vast amount of blood in his body
having my twelve year old boner ejaculating down Michael Jackson's throat
calling a fly with one wing a fling
feeling a kind of distracting ennui about everything lately, like when you're enjoying something you're watching but you flip over to see what else is on
We haven't started working on a script yet, but we are talking about it
lookin' for someone who's not make believe
hey guys, remember internet shrines
having my twelve year old boner ejaculating down your throat
having the twenty first century ejaculating in your hair contrary to its promises
having the twenty first century ejaculating down your throat
having the twenty first century ejaculating down your dick
having the twenty first century breathing down your dick
having the twenty first century breathing down your neck
having a boner for twelve years
even my twelve year old boner
drawing a picture of Wilson masturbating behind Tim Allen's fence as he watches Pamela Anderson audition for Home Improvement
wonderin if Pamela Anderson had to fuck Tim Allen to get the part on Home Improvement
I can't argue with that
the creepy porn star lips coupled with her bimbo voice just killed even my twelve year old boner
Pamela Anderson was gross
[ show all 94327 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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Look for regrets involving

top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
humping Jewel's bust (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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