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being pulled through a hole in tiny reality?
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recent regrets

you're famous now, live up to the responsibility of your infamy
A transatlantic restroom dalliance aboard a Virgin Atlantic flight ended with the woman involved banned from ever again flying on the airline
Tourists kicked out of Machu Picchu for mooning ancient ruins
nomming your wang bands
naming your wang bands
Chris Lydon's bizarre, banded, earthwormlike wang
naming your wang "Bands"
Pokemon Assault and Battery
Washington Man Commits Assault with a Tire Iron Over Pokemon Go Gym Battle
fuck Truckasaurus because she has dumps like a truck and I want to find out what that whole dinosaur sex thing is about, marry Aisha Tyler because she probably has the most money, kill Kristen Johnston because she's most likely a dude
Our committee was not charged with answering the collusion idea
fuck marry kill, Kristen Johnston, Aisha Tyler, Truckasaurus
being woken up with the words "now it's Daniel's turn!"
they don't call him the Wet Bandit for nothing
I guess there's less room for disappointment that way
I have no preconceived notions about Daniel Stern's felatio skills or lack thereof
I reckon his purty mouth is inexperienced
I reckon he's pretty inexperienced
he'll expect more the second time
given that I've already fucked Daniel Stern I guess round two might not be so bad
[ show all 135213 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) naming your band "Wangs"
(1) shellchested busted nut buns
(1) wondering if there is a median point where the curves of insane through too much sex and insane through too much money intersect, and whether it is reached sooner or later than in the natural state when money is exchanged for sex
(2) making a old woman cry by calling her an ugly mouse, i'm looking at you, old german lady with alzheimer's
(1) that alex could be short for either alexander or alexandra, thus not clearing up the question of whether sa is female or male at ALL
(2) Virgin vs Chad memes
(1) Kids, consuming wieners with ease
(3) if you hard, then you hard
(1) knowing the date you last ate jalapenos
(3) I shall join you in those impure thoughts
[ show more ]

search regrets

Look for regrets involving

top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
your dyslexia flaring up (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
keeping Harry Mason alive through a whole game, only to have him go and get killed off in another game without you being able to do anything about it (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12566/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]