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recent regrets

imagining a pitch meeting where the amazing Regret Index is mentioned as an example of potential audience
dogs playing Battlecreek and mocking dogs that play Call of Duty
deserving a quiet night
Hayden Christensen injured in sand storm
Harrison Ford injured in peach snarl
Harrison Ford usured in plane crash
shaming your colon
shaving your colon
sharing your colon
shunting your colon
shutting your colon
shitting your colon
seriously considering night waffles
dogs playing Battlefield and mocking dogs that play Call of Duty
dogs playing Call of Duty
slamming your colon in the car door
gory duty
hitting your colon
missing your colon
imagining a Tolkien insect character on the Lord of the Hobbits Episode XVII Crossover of the Hogwarts that goes around filming everyone being gay
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
not eating out Kento (0.0000)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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