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slamming your shoe in the car door?
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recent regrets

finding out there's a mentally ill child rapist four houses down
Nolan Key Bushnell
seeing a commercial for Chuck E Cheese's where a little girl excitedly declares the experience "EPIC!" and wondering if preteens really have incorporated dumbass internet slang into their vocabularies
Balla Grey
the death of Sylvia Browne while screwing Barry White
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it while screwing Barry White
adding "while screwing Barry White" to the end of other regrets
drawing a picture of Jackson C Frank being unexpectantly shot in the eye with some sort of pellet gun while screwing Barry White
drawing a picture of Cilla Black being unexpectedly hit between the eyes with some sort of foreign object while screwing Barry White
that there's a pretty good chance Jimmy Savile banged Cilla Black with some sort of foreign object
Priscilla Maria Veronica White
Barry Eugene Carter
that there's a pretty good chance Barry White banged Cilla Black
wondering if a black person with the last name of White has every married a white person with the last name Black
that the future of digital communications is Domino's Pizza
talking to KitKat, for ever, alone
that the future of digital communications is Domino's Pizza talking to KitKat, for ever, alone
welshing Jewel's fuggers isn't it
welsing Jewel's fuggers
sprinking vegan chocolate chips on your Jewel's boobs as you knead them
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
drinking the water in Mexico (1.0000)
being given the cold shoulder (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

buying multiple copies of the book "To Be or Not to Be" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
deep throating Stephen Fry (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2443/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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