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recent regrets

he was such a jackass he didn't know how to open his own safe
they get it at this great place in San Francisco called, "Chicken"
DJ says that that she tries to focus less on the fact that their mother is a festering pile of maggot infested flesh and more on the fact that they have three idiotic dads who love them
At this point in his monologue, Martin begins a commentary on what he considers the decline in standards of feminine hygiene in this country
Tinkerer Tailorer Soldierer Spider
I got a bad desire
hey little girl is your daddy home, did he go and leave you all alone
being raped by someone who's on fire
Spider Man II Colon Spiharder
Spider Kids
The Spider Who Came In From the Cold
The Spider Who Loved Me
Totally Spiders
Joey and Danny are put in a prison cell where they try to think of a way to maintain their masculinity while being anally raped with a dress on
Jean Luc Coulier
Luc Coulier
don't ironically mock people's behavior when they're doing something they shouldn't be because someone else might see you and think that you're doing what you're mocking those people for doing
drawing a picture of Dave Coulier knocking up Jayne Modean on the set of Full House
The first guy is a big scary raper and the second guy is Danny Tanner, who immediately tells you, "there is nothing you could ever do that would make me stop hugging and kissing you"
grown up Kimmie Gibbler comes in and there's a gag about how bad all the Dads wanna fuck her because she grew up to be hella fine
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
cornholing Willie Mays (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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