Do you regret
that the incidence of Bird Flu fatalities appears to be rising, but you suspect this is due to better detection rather than a change in practices or a viral mutation?
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recent regrets

what Myke Hawke thinks about while he masturbates
using the imagined story to claim that atheists would not find rape or murder immoral
what Phil Robertson thinks about while he masturbates
manly men
a subculture of men who usually identify as heterosexual, but who regularly create elaborate sexual scenarios involving a socially retarded man they know only through the internet being violated in different ways by elderly men and marine mammals
a subculture of men who usually identify as heterosexual, but who have regular conversations about Myke Hawke
a subculture of men who usually identify as heterosexual, but who have regular conversations about gay sex, gay pornography, and braiding their penises together
a subculture of men who usually identify as heterosexual, but who have sex with men
having a ritual wherein you convince yourself you're going to fail at something before you even try it
Japan Airlines Flight one twenty three
try short beer, eh
sherbert theory
queefing Fisto's milk at a Darth convention
they're brothers
Darth Vegan Voiced by Edgar "Screw" Hertz
Darth Carnage Voiced by Drew "Vegs" Hertz
squirting squid's milk directly down your throat at a PETA convention
fruit fly season, no homo
squirting Sylvia Browne sauce directly down your throat
fruit fly season
[ show all 92217 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis (0.0000)
the death of Sylvia Browne (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
The Curious Cans of Benjamin Buttocks (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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