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encountering a temporal causality loop?
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recent regrets

every morning I had their flicks and gleets to look forward to, their asses pumping farts in my general direction as I silently gazed out the window
we could duplicate him somehow
I seriously doubt there is anyone that dumb on the planet
tricking a person into dating Kento
reading AskHistorians in the voices of the cast of ALF
never really understanding why a tyre company went around rating food, and understanding even less why anybody listened to them
reading AskHistorians in the voices of the cast of ALI
reading AskHistorians in the voices of the cast of Frasier
you know me all too well
you thought I was going to say "it's hard to grasp," didn't you
it's quite a tusk
wondering how a walrus could possibly put a plushie on a desk
it was a very limited run
true story, a walrus bought them all and left them on every desk in his classroom
wondering what percentage of Ryan plushies ended up someone's butt
you keep coming back for it
yes dead air
the Ryan plushies sold gangbusters
I never thought I'd get rich doing it, I just wanted to put out something pointless and see if anybody would buy it, like say Ryan North plushies or tshirts with writing that isn't all that clever on
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recent comments

(1) he was only nine years old so I doubt he caused much damage
(1) never having had a boyfriend, as you are a heterosexual male, although that doesn't explain why you've never had a girlfriend
(2) realizing that none of the birds that have become memes on the Regret Index taste very good
(1) having a concept for an audio book series in which you actually read the book in real time, just not out loud, and offer the resulting audio unedited for sale, but not living anywhere quiet enough to do it even if you still had the means to record it
(1) filthy experiences
(1) that your support of and fondness towards the homosexual community gets mistaken as homosexuality by the straight one
(2) being poor and buying lottery tickets regularly because shit, it's not like Richard "My island burned down so I had to forego holding models for nearly ten seconds" Branson has any to spare that wouldn't be terribly missed
(1) liking to know where you got the notion
(2) wondering why big red dogs hold such great appeal for humans that, say, big red cats don't
(1) wondering if you're going through all the old regrets one by one to learn the history of the 'dex
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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
forgetting to feed your klinoppe (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
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