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Also, and I fully recognize that I'm a bad person who should go to jail for pointing this out, but, good lord, Gia's got some straight up jugs!
Danny comes in and mentions how hot it is outside, then he starts beating off under the table while he describes the sweaty construction workers that he just saw working with their shirts off outside
Danny's presence successfully desiccates Marcia Wallace's vagina, as it's done for so many women so many times before, and so she's finally able to control herself enough to hold an actual meeting with Joey
Mary Kate, Ashley Olsen won't be on 'Rueful Holes' semicolon Uncle Jesse 'kroner bathe'
Mary Kate, Ashley Olsen won't be on 'Fuller House' semicolon Uncle Jesse 'heartbroken'
Uncle Leo
The sailors of the Royal Canadian Navy use the term kippers as a slang for members of the Royal Navy
Finally, Danny tells Stephanie to take her ass upstairs to wipe that skank off her face
Comet continues to chase the wiener car until he spots a fine ass bitch and then they run off together to go fuck
I guess it's not at all surprising that these self obsessed assholes would sit around and watch their own shitty show together
They might as well have just kicked him in the nuts
having impure thoughts about taking the hugest dump in the bathroom at church
being slightly weirded out by the lead villain in Die Hard II being Sloan of Section ThirtyOne
I zap any bastard that screws with me
Danny tells Joey to get out of the bathroom so DJ can take her enormous shit but then Joey points out that he has to share a hallway and bathroom with three little girls and he just wants an hour to himself to beat off in the bathtub
DJ complains to Joey that he's been in the bathroom for almost an hour and then AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Derek sings "Paper Moon," which triggered momentary synesthesia for me when it evoked the smell of anal lubricant
Little Richard walks into the kitchen just as Danny utters his oft mentioned phrase to Joey, "I'll toss the salad"
Their segue to get up and ditch their dates is that they're going to go "check out the lobster tank" which is probably some sort of really disgusting euphemism
it's not that tough being a film cricket
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
stealing that girl's bra from the communal laundry room (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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