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recent regrets

getting a pedoscope reading of over seven point three gigapolanskis
pedoscopes
greedy lout meating lonely vaginas
meating lonely guys old tree vagina
meating lonely guys at Olive Garden
meating lonely guys on the internet
eating a german cannibal who meets lonely guys on the internet and convinces them to let him eat them
being a lonely doll
being a german cannibal who meets lonely guys on the internet and convinces them to let him eat them
eating a lonely guy
being a lonely guy
Pokemon Darron Braised
getting your lips around a soft taco, nosh nosh nosh
Pokemon Born and Raised
turning around, bright eyes look you
soft tacos
going down on Bahama Breeze during a trip to your parents'
trust me, you NEED a shower after fucking Eddie V's Prime Seafood
taking a shower after an evening of passion with Eddie V's Prime Seafood, only to hear your phone ring as you're drying off, then walking out to see Eddie V's Prime Seafood holding your phone with a pic of Olive Garden's dick on it
running into LongHorn Steakhouse for the first time since college, getting talking in a bar and ending up back at LongHorn Steakhouse's place getting hot and heavy when LongHorn Steakhouse's roommate walked in and you were all "oh hey Olive Garden"
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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Look for regrets involving

top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
not being Kento (0.0000)
twats (0.0000)
cornholing Willie Mays (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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